Say It Like You Mean It
by Turducken
Summary: Brittana. "I just wanted to tell you that I love you."  "Santana, we can't keep doing this." Britanna angst, side Puck/Santana friendship.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Random story that came to mind. If you all like it, I'll add another chapter. Just make sure to review and let me know!

**Say It Like You Mean It**

Puck's parties were legendary. Anybody who was anybody at McKinley high would attest to that. His parents were never home, which gave him free reign over the entire place. His speaker system was completely ridiculous, in an awesome blow out your ear drums kind of way. And last but not least, he always had a large variety of alcohol on hand, ready to be devoured. Vodka, tequila, gin. You name it, he had it. The only problem anyone had to face was which drink to try first. Fortunately for Santana Lopez, this was never a problem. She just checked 'all of the above' and moved on.

Shot after shot, chug after chug, she started to feel more relaxed. She moved expertly through the crowd of sweaty teenagers, her body moving to the beat in ways that could only be described as primal. The way she moved attracted many lecherous stares and many dropped jaws. There was only one person in the crowd who looked on with concerned eyes, though he masked it well.

Puck was worried. It wasn't often that he felt this emotion, and when that rare time came along that he did, he knew it was serious. Santana Lopez had him worried. His first concern came at the beginning of the night when he noticed that Santana had come to the party alone. Nearly every time he had seen her, whether it be in Glee club or out in public, she was glued to the side of a gorgeous blonde. When he had seen her walk in, he immediately went up to greet her and to question her about this odd occurrence.

"Sup babe? Traveling solo tonight I see. What's the deal?"

"She had better things to do, I guess." He hadn't missed the hurt look on her face as she looked off to the side to avoid his gaze. "It doesn't matter anyway. I'm here and I'm ready to party!" She had yelled this last bit to the crowd, which was enough to get them all cheering and raising their cups. Puck watched her as she walked off and filled her glass, his jaw clenching slightly.

Puck knew the reputation that he had. He was a 'wham bam thank you ma'am,' kind of guy, and that was just the way he liked it. He held no reservations about the way he acted. This was just him, and if people didn't like it, he could care less. Something he was sure that no one knew of was his relationship with Santana. Everyone had made the assumption that they had slept together numerous times. Hell, they were pretty much the same person, just in different bodies. They couldn't have been more wrong.

Puck viewed Santana as a sister, and treated her as such. When she needed someone to talk to, he was there. He was there for her when she was feeling sad, pissed off at the world, or for the rare times that she was genuinely happy. These were the times that he loved the most. She was a beautiful person when she was happy, and it made him happy just seeing this. It was no surprise that when she was all smiley and giggles, it was because of a certain blonde dancer. A certain blonde dancer that was not currently here to anchor Santana's erratic behavior. This was why he was worried.

**SANTANA POV**

She moved through the crowd, drink in hand and goal in mind. Her drink of choice was tequila, and her goal was to get the hell away from the loud music that was currently making her head spin. No matter where she went in the house, the loud music followed her, and this was how she found herself on Puck's front porch. She sat down on the only part of the porch that wasn't iced over, and pulled her jacket tightly around herself to block out the icy breeze that only Winter could produce. She shivered slightly and frowned. Normally on nights like this she would be cuddled up with Brittany, both of them engaged in some sort of sappy movie. Tonight, however. Tonight she was all alone.

Before she knew what she was doing, she had her cell phone out and Brittany's number was being dialed.

"H-hello?"

Santana smiled into the phone when she heard Brittany's voice, still laced with the remnants of sleep.

"Hey beautiful."

"Santana? Is everything alright? Sanny, it's so late. What are you doing?"

"I just wanted to hear your voice, baby."

Santana heard Brittany sigh on the other end.

"Santana...you're drinking again. How many times has it been this week? It's not good for you, Sanny."

Santana frowned into the phone. This was not the way the conversation was supposed to go.

"I just wanted...I just wanted to tell you that I l-love you. I love you a lot, Brittany. So much that I don't even think you know how much. Like, a lot. We c-could be perfect together, B."

Brittany sighed once more. "Santana, we can't keep doing this. You know how I feel about you. You know how in love with you I really am. The only time you tell me you love me is when you're so drunk you can barely remember your own name."

Santana was about to protest when Brittany cut her off.

"It hurts, Sanny. It hurts so bad that you can say these things to me now, and ignore it all tomorrow. I don't think you understand what it does to me, and how it makes me feel."

A pause, and then the sound of sniffling. "It's so hard, B. It's..you don't...I'm sorry. I-I just...I'm s-sorry."

Brittany cleared her throat before speaking. "I need to go, Santana. I'm tired, and I just...I need to go. If you remember any of this tomorrow, we can talk about it. Or we can pretend this conversation never happened, just like we have every other time. Goodnight, Santana."

Santana stared down at her phone when the conversation was over, tears beginning to spill out of her eyes. She put her head in her hands and let the tears flow freely, small sobs now shaking her entire body.

A touch on her shoulder calmed her crying, and she didn't have to look up to know who it was.

"I love her. I love her so much. So much, Puck."

Puck stared down at his friend, sadness etched across his face. He hated seeing her like this.

"Come on, Lopez. Let's get you cleaned up and get you to bed."

Santana pulled away from him before meeting his eyes, a pleading look in her own.

"You believe me, right? That I love her, and only her. It's always been her..."

Puck reached down and scooped Santana up into his arms.

"I know you do, babe. I know you do."

Soon she was asleep in his bed, and he on his floor, staring up into the ceiling.

This wasn't the first time this had happened, but if he could help it, it would be the last.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I'm honestly surprised that people liked the last chapter. It was just something random that I couldn't get out of my head, so I wrote it down. I dedicate this chapter to the person who said I should continue, if only for them. You're awesome.**

She had been smacked in the back of the head with a hammer. Some individual out there was just cruel enough to hit her in the back of the head, full force, with a hammer. At least Santana assumed that's what had happened when she awoke in...where the _hell_ was she, exactly? Pictures of naked girls on the walls. Trash littering the floor. Football equipment thrown over a chair. The events of last night came rushing back to her in force akin to that of aforementioned hammer.

Without thinking, she hopped out of bed and groaned in agony when the full force of the hangover hit her.

"Oh fuck _me_."

"Believe me, I have offered. You generally have the same response; something like 'it looks like it's staring at me, and I don't like it.' Lesbians, man."

Santana immediately stopped whining and peered over the side of the bed, a look of confusion and disgust etched onto her face.

"What the hell, Puck. What the hell happened last night, and why am I in your bed?"

Santana immediately assumed he was going to make some sort of crude joke, and was taken aback when she saw the sadness pass through his eyes.

What _did_ happen last night? Was it so bad that even Puck was ashamed?

"Alright. I remember getting here. I remember loud music...really loud music, actually. Your speakers blow hardcore. Anyway. Loud music, lots of drinking. Music got too loud, went outside...and..."

It was in this moment that Puck made eye contact with Santana, a look of understanding passing between them.

"I...I called her, didn't I? I made an ass of myself, like I always do. I fucked up, like I always do!"

By the end of the rant, Santana was practically screaming.

"I called her. I said the same shit that I_ always _say when I get fucked up. I told myself that I wouldn't do this to her. Hell, I told _her_ that I wouldn't do this to her anymore. What's wrong with me, Puck?"

Puck got up from his spot on the floor and moved to sit next to her on the bed.

"Babe...you said some pretty intense stuff. Granted, you always say the same thing, but...it's intense. But I have a question for you, one that she asked herself. Why can't you say that stuff to her when you aren't drunk?"

Santana looked up at him, anger burning in her eyes.

"You don't _understand. _It's hard for me. I have all of these feelings, and they scare the living hell out of me. I don't know where they came from, and I sure as hell don't know what to do with them."

Puck raised an eyebrow before shoving her over...which of course warranted the typical Lopez glare.

"Hey, really weird thought, just stick with me on this one. How bout you actually tell her all of these things? I'm sure she's just as confused as you are. Holy mother of everything Jewish. I am not Dr. Phil. I do not get paid enough for this shit."

Santana smiled at him before dropping her eyes to the Batman comforter that covered his bed.

"But...but what if she doesn't feel the same? I can't put myself out there and be rejected. I just...can't do that."

Puck surprised them both by bursting into fits of laughter.

"Are you kidding me? Anyone who can put up with your shit for as long as she has either has a screw loose, or is head over heels in love with you. Between all the '_ay dios mio_', '_no me gusta_' and overall random shit that pours out of your mouth...I can't believe she's stuck around for as long as she has. Not to mention that beautiful sunshiney personality that you have. And by the way, what does all of that shit mean, anyway?"

Santana looked up at him, a smile on her face, and tears in her eyes. Only Puck could joke about something so serious, and still continue to be helpful.

"Thank you", she whispered, so low it was barely audible.

"Hey babe, that's what I'm here for. That and amazing sex, which you aren't all that interested in. So, now that that's over with. How are we going to get you your girl?"

Santana paused for a moment, biting her lip while deep in thought.

Her girl. Brittany could be _her_ girl. All of the couple-y type things that everyone in glee club seemed to be doing...they could be doing. Together. As a couple. The thought of it scared her more than anything else. To be out. To be open with her sexuality. What she was feeling now hurt her to the point that she was hurting her own body to get rid of the feelings. The question that she was left with...which was worse? To be out with the girl that she was in love with? Or to keep all of those feelings deep inside herself, till she could no longer take it.

The answer was so simple that even Finn couldn't screw it up.

Santana let out a deep sigh and nodded, mostly to herself for confirmation.

"Okay. Let's do this. I want her, Puck. More than I have even wanted anything else. But after last night...I honestly don't know if she'll want to hear what I have to say."

Puck winked at her before grabbing his cellphone. "Just leave it all to me. You go get yourself all pretty, and I'm gonna make a phone call."

Santana was going to ask him what he was planning on doing, but was stopped by a wave of the hand. She rolled her eyes and headed towards the bathroom.

Phone in hand, he dialed a number that, as of late, had become increasingly familiar to him.

"Britt, baby. It's Puckzilla. What's shakin' hot mama."

A murmured response, and Puck put his head into his hands.

"No, Brittany, that's 'Godzilla.' You see, my last name is Puckerman, and...ugh. Forget it. Anyway. So. I have this super hot friend who wants to meet you. Head over and I'll introduce you to her."

Another murmured response, this time sounding unsure.

"Brittany, it'll be fine. Just head over asap, and I'll set you fine hotties up."

He shut his cell phone, a look of triumph on his face. He was the _man_.

XxXxXxXxXx

15 Minutes later, Puck and Santana heard the sound of a car pulling up to the front of his house. Santana had her hands clenched tightly together, and her lips pulled in a tight line. Puck looked over at her and put an arm around her shoulders in an effort to quell the anxiety that was currently bubbling out of her.

"You'll be fine. Just be yourself. She'll love you for just that."

Not a minute later, the door burst open and in came Brittany, voicing her concerns.

"Puck, I don't think this is a good idea. Just tell your friend I'll meet her another time. With everything that's been happening with...Santana...you're here."

Puck stepped between the two girls and grabbed their hands.

"Brittany Pierce, I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Santana Lopez. The _real_ Santana Lopez. I'm sure you two will hit it off."

With that said, Puck left the room, hoping that his plan would work.

"Brittany...hey. You look...you look nice." _Real slick start. Reeeeal slick._

"I wish I could say the same for you. You look like you've been run over multiple times."

Santana smiled at the girl's honesty. It was one of the many things that Santana loved about her.

"Britts...we need to talk. Well, I need to talk, and I'd like for you to listen. Is..that okay with you?"

Brittany crossed her arms over her chest and met Santana's eyes challengingly.

"Are you drunk now? This is early, even for you."

Santana flinched back at the severity of the blonde girl's words.

"I'm not drunk. This is me, being completely real with you. There are so many things that I have to say to you. I kept them all inside. When I was drinking, I let a little of what I was feeling slip out, each time that it happened."

Brittany dropped her arms, her defensive stance softening slightly.

"Alright. I'll listen. Say what you have to say."

Santana mouthed 'thank you' to Brittany, and started to speak.

"In my life, I have only trusted a few people. I know that I'm hard to get along with. I know that letting people in is something that I'm really bad at. I keep walls around myself, and keep people out. You, Brittany, are one of the few people that I've let in. I trust you, Brittany. I trust you as a friend who will never let me down. I trust you as someone with whom I can share my deepest secrets. But most of all...I trust you with my heart. You mean so much to me, Britt. Words can't express how I feel for you, but I'll try."

Santana took a deep breath before continuing.

"Every morning that I wake up, and every night before I go to bed, I think of you. I wonder what it is that you're doing. I wonder how your day was. I even wonder if your cat is still reading your diary. You are all that I think about Brittany. Every day, I can't wait for glee club, because I know that's when I get the chance to spend more time with you. There are so many things that I love about you. I love the way your hair falls over your eyes when you fall asleep in class. I love that you dot your 'i's' with little hearts. I love that you aren't afraid to stick up for something that you believe in. But most of all...I love the way you love me. You've been by my side for as long as I can remember, and I need you to know this. I'm in love with you, Brittany. Body, heart, and soul, completely in love with you. I just...I just needed you to know that, and know that I'm sorry for the way I've been treating you."

Santana wrapped her arms around herself, and finally met the gaze of the clear blue eyes before her.

"Sanny...I have a question."

Santana took a step forward and nodded. "Go ahead, Britt. Ask me anything."

Brittany moved closer to Santana and tilted her head to the side.

"Did you join the poetry club?"

Santana's eyes grew wide, and she laughed so hard that tears started to gather in her eyes.

Brittany smiled when Santana started to laugh. She definitely liked this version of Santana better than the mopey, depressed San.

"Santana Lopez...I am 100%, head over heels in love with you. I always have been. I knew from that moment on the playground, when you beat up Puck when he stole my barbie, that you and I would end up together. I just didn't think it would take this long. You really do have a thick head, Santana."

Santana rolled her eyes and smiled, moving even closer to Brittany.

"So...I have a question for you. Will you, Brittany S. Pierce, do me the honor of being my girlfriend? I can't promise that we'll never fight. It's going to be difficult, being with me. I'm stubborn. I can be bitchy, and even-"

Santana's rant was cut short when she felt a soft pair of lips meet her own.

"I guess that's a yes then?"

Before Brittany could answer, a loud whistle was heard from the other room.

"Now that's what I'M talkin' about. Two hot ladies, getting it on in my house. Oh, and for the record, I _let_ Santana beat me up for that barbie. There's no way some girl is going to take down the Puckasaurus. Nu uh. No way, Jose."

Santana kissed Brittany's cheek before leaving the room to find said Puckasaurus. When she found him,she immediately rushed forward and gave him the biggest hug she could muster.

"Thank you. For everything. I mean it."

Puck blushed and looked away, slightly embarrassed.

"S'all good. You know I gotsta take care of my ladies."

Santana smiled and hugged him once more.

"I know. And if you don't mind, I need to go take care of mine."

Puck gently kissed the corner of her mouth, and pushed her towards the door.

All in a day's work for the Puckasaurus.


End file.
